Sometimes, when I am enjoying some, ahem, alone time, I think about asking Joscelin to top me, at least in specific ways. There are deal breakers between us that make a relationship impossible in general, but over time my mind worked out a very limited relationship that seemed like it would be highly enjoyable and yet avoid the serious drawbacks.
Usually when my alone time ends, I lose interest in this idea, but last night I brought it up (over IM, despite him being in the next room) and after a little discussion, he agreed to try it. So we had sex.
The sex was good in some ways. I got turned on and I enjoyed it. But I found myself resolutely avoiding eye contact or sort of acknowledging who exactly I was doing it with. And I knew as soon as it was over (maybe sooner) that I wouldn’t want to do it again. I decided not to say anything about it right then, during what was basically aftercare, but to bring it up today.
Our conversation:
Me: So, um, I…erred. I made a mistake.
Jos: I did too.
Me: Was it the same mistake?
Jos: I think so.
Me: So…are we done?
Jos: Yeah.
Me: Good.
We were all smiles and friendliness during this, and relieved to find that we both felt the same way so there would be no unnecessary awkwardness or hurt feelings between us. It was pretty cute.
