last night’s sex

Before last night, Joscelin and I hadn’t had sex since last Friday, when we didn’t really have a scene but I did force him to come three times (and came twice myself, which is rare).  And 6 days is really not all that long, but I was missing it, and wondering when we’d ever manage to sneak it in.

Physically, I could go without sex forever.  I can always have an orgasm by masturbating.  And, honestly, the longer I don’t have sex, the less I really care about it.  But when we don’t have sex, I don’t feel as in love, and I miss that.  Sex is a binding force in our relationship.  It’s where things get intense.  And it is the basis of the d/s that we do, in a really big way.  Also, I worry that when we don’t have sex, orgasm denial becomes more like orgasm neglect.  Since Jos only comes with me these days, I start to feel like a vanilla girlfriend who agrees to put her boyfriend in chastity and then forgets about it completely.  “You can’t have an orgasm” is sexy.  “I don’t care” is not.

And also, sex is delicious, of course.  That’s the point.  So when I say I don’t need it, it’s not that I don’t love it.  It’s just that I don’t always miss it when it’s not around.  Kind of like sushi.

Last night we found a couple of hours and hopped into bed together.  (Well, Jos had to kneel naked and wait while I got ready, but then we hopped.)  I considered chaining his hands to the eye bolt at the head of the bed, but it wasn’t really what I wanted – I wanted a different kind of access.  So after we lay down, I had him lie on his back with his hands at his sides.  And I told him not to speak.

And suddenly I was crazy turned on – actually aching from it.

I didn’t do anything very organized to him.  I pinched the head of his cock between my fingernails.  I hurt his nipples.  I got an ice cube, sealed it in a snack baggie so it wouldn’t drip everywhere, and put it on his nipples, cock, and balls.  And navel.  And then left it on his chest, right above his heart, while I kissed him and slapped his balls, so that he got brain freeze, although that part wasn’t intentional.  (He spoke up and let me know.  I had told him not to speak unless he became [emotionally] distressed or needed to tell me something.)

I told him he was going to fuck me, but I wanted him to rub my clit first.  I was starting to get wet, but just barely.  My clit is tricky to rub – it doesn’t like strong sensations and touching it on the tip hurts a bit – so I directed him.  And at some point, I took his other hand and bit it.  I like to bite the outside part – the bit that runs from the outer side of the pinky down to the wrist.  It just has a wonderful texture.  (I think my love of biting is essentially vanilla, although Jos’s submission allows me to do it, and his pain then turns me on.  But the biting itself just feels good in a way that’s not very psychological, as best I can tell.)

What was amazing about the biting was that it made the clit-rubbing feel so much better.  The sensations just really sharpened up and became good.  I was carefully watching his face to monitor the pain he was in and it was just a really nice few moments.

We fucked, and I still didn’t allow him to talk.  He always (99% of the time) fucks me from on top, which is how I like it.  He knows exactly how I like it.  He knows that he can’t do it in the way that would give him the most pleasure.  And I told him that I wasn’t going to let him come, so he knew that too.  I think it’s an exquisite torture for him, edging himself over and over with the fucking, knowing he has to do it and there will be no release.  Damn.

After a while, I had him pull out and I used my vibrator.  I told him to lick my nipple, which he does very well.  He was sort of crouching to do this, and I reached over and pinched his nipple, and so there were three things happening to me – pinching him, feeling him lick me, and the sensations from the vibrator – and it was so much, it was really too much, but in a good way.  It was overwhelming.   He told me later that he could tell when I got closer because the pinching hurt more.  I asked him to put his hand on the vibrator (the diminishment of my own control is crazy good for me) and then I came.  I came well.

He lay down next to me and I said, “You can talk now.”

“Mistress, can I share a fantasy with you?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said.  I was feeling a little bit insecure, though not from that.

“You don’t let me talk at all tonight.”

“Ah,” I said, smiling.  “So at this point I just say ‘good night, slave’ and dismiss you?”

“Yeah.  I can talk again in the morning.”

I grinned at him.

“I want more scene,” he said.  “I really do.”

I know what it is to want more scene, from the bottom.  It can be such a strong sensation.  So I told him to get me the nipple clamps and then to lie down on his back.  I put them on his nipples, which were probably already sore from earlier.  He whimpered.  (The nipple clamps we have are pretty vicious.)  I told him he could rub himself, and he started to, still wearing the condom.

We messed around like that for a while.  I put one of the clamps on his tongue.  He couldn’t really take it, but I made him be still and breathe for a little while before I took it off.  I put one on his earlobe, which he could take, with difficulty. And I pulled them off his nipples, which is…so horrendous, in my mind, that it’s on the edge of what I am actually willing to do.  After I told him I was going to pull the right one off, I began pulling it, and the force required was so strong that I hestitated, until he said, “Please.”  More than once.

Eventually I took the clamps off and said, “You can let go of your dick now.  And turn over and do some snuggles and aftercare.”

He turned towards me and I just looked at him.  He really is astonishingly pretty to me.  (Cute, handsome…whatever you prefer.  It’s all there.)

“Put your hands together and look like a slave,” I said.  And he did.