beautiful night

Saturday night, Joscelin and I went to the club.  He wasn’t feeling great when I picked him up, something both physical and probably psychological.  He mentioned that he was still feeling stressed from our scene the previous night, when I’d bitten and pinched the crap out of him in a way that was pretty casual for me, but intense for him.  (This is a bad combination.)

At the club, we watched an interrogation scene demo.  As the interrogator motivated his subject by cutting her hair, Jos gasped repeatedly such that one guy sitting in front of us turned around.  Hair-cutting: unexpectedly intense.

The demo was fine, but Jos continued to be stressed.  He was having difficult headspace issues (stuff like not knowing where to stand or how to be) and we sat in the coat room to be alone, and he told me he felt like he did when we went to Thunder last year.

“I broke you again,” I said.

“I guess so.”

By “broke” I mean that I put him in a sort of traumatized place.  If I’d tried to have a scene with him, he would have screamed at my first touch.  Yet he really couldn’t handle the idea that he needed me to take care of him, or that he needed to ask anything of me.  We talked about how we solved this last time by having a couple of easy, nice scenes.  He couldn’t stand the idea of me giving him that kind of scene as a gift (his word, not mine).  I reassured him as best I could.  (The idea of him feeling bad about something like this is completely at odds with my reality.)

So we had a mild scene.  I laid him down on a padded table, which I’d covered with a sheet.  He was wearing shackles and I managed to chain him with his hands on the table above his head, which I’ve never done before but which is super sexy, and I chained his feet down with his legs spread.  I rendered him reasonably helpless.

In truth, I’d only brought a few toys - a quirt (totally inappropriate for the circumstances), a soft flogger (possible, but difficult to use in that position), and vampire gloves.

Vampire gloves, for those not familiar, are leather gloves with pointy metal sticking out all over the fronts of the fingers and thumb.  You can hurt someone with them pretty easily, but if you use them without much force, they feel amazing - either a really delicious prickle all over if you just touch with them, or a delightful scratching sensation if you move your hands with very light pressure.

I started just with bare hands, touching him all over, and then I got the gloves.  I touched every exposed part of his body, except that I left his cock alone (because there is no way to do that softly enough with the gloves).  I worked methodically down one side and up the other.  And all the while, I watched his face closely, watching for the transitions from pleasure to pain, and backing off if I saw a lip curl.  Sometimes I pressed the gloves against him enough to hurt a little, but never much.

When I cupped my vampire hand against his cheek, he said, “You’ve really got me headspacy.”  Sweet.

I took the gloves off and I started biting him gently.  And smelling him.  And kissing him.  He was beautiful.  I didn’t realize what a deep headspace I was in until I needed to cross the dungeon to get him another blanket - suddenly I was aware of being dizzy and goofy.  And, unexpectedly, wet.

The scene went on for a while - I flipped him onto his stomach and did more gloving and some very light flogging - but that was the best part for me, the earlier part, where I could watch his face.

Afterwards, we spent a long time in the common room with him wrapped in a sheet, very spacy, drinking some Coke and eating some tortilla chips and m&m’s.  (Yes, this is what our club is like - homey.  No alcohol.  A fridge full of sodas and a table full of snack foods.)  Then we went to dinner - a long odyssey as it turned out, in which we ended up at a late-night diner full of drunk club-goers: mean-eyed guys, girls in short shorts - and then home.

I knew he wanted to spend the night at his own place, but asked if he would consider sleeping in my bed instead.  He readily agreed, which made my night.  I was feeling intensely in love with him.  I started thinking about the smell of his underarms (he makes very little odor, in truth, but you can get a little bit if you stick your nose right in there) and it was making me feel loopy and like I just wanted to rub myself all over him.

We got to my place, got naked, got under the covers, and I tried to absorb his body.  I smelled him and he was delicious.  I had an orgasm with his help.  And then I made him come with my hand.  It took a surprisingly long time and I felt like I was in a trance, just gently stroking him over and over, going to teasing strokes sometimes, feeling his cock all softly-textured in my hand, listening to his small sounds.  My eyes were mostly closed.  It was really like a meditation or something.  He came in the end.

When we turned off the light to sleep, despite the crazy loving energy between us, I had my customary crash.  I buried my head in his chest and cried - actual tears! - while he said amazing things to me until I was ok again.  I don’t know why that happens, but it’s wonderful to be taken care of so easily.

“I’m putting in earplugs now,” he said after.  “But if you have any aftershocks, just let me know, and I’ll take these out and hold you some more.  It’s no problem at all.”

We both slept well - practically a miracle itself - and woke happy, playful, sweet, unstressed, connected, and in love.

What a beautiful night.