I’ve been trying to figure out how I would have a rougher scene with Joscelin. Normally, although I might hurt him pretty bad, I am emotionally and in some ways even physically gentle with him. I talk low and soothingly. I stroke him. I try to put him into comfortable positions.
I can picture it otherwise, and I think it might be hot to try, but the details are tricky. I can speak more sternly. I can disallow his talking and screams. I can handle him more roughly (to a certain extent). I can put him into more uncomfortable positions. I can demand compliance. But what are the specifics of what I would do, exactly?
I am constantly working on my repertoire of behaviors towards him. A few weeks ago, I didn’t have the move where I hold his head down by his hair to kiss him in bed in my toolbox, and now I do. I learn or think of new things because it’s frustrating to have desires (“be rough”) that don’t correspond to actions.
So I’ve been fantasizing my way through a scene that I most readily picture taking place at the club. And it’s delicious.
