I just read this incredibly hot, moving post by May, about a difficult but ultimately satisfying night with his lover Eileen. It made me melt all over with compassion and lust for the sweet submission of men. Wow. I’d excerpt it but I wouldn’t know what part to choose. It hits my emotional buttons and my orgasm control buttons too.
This morning when Joscelin got online, he was horny. It’s about time – I don’t think he’s come, nor asked me if he could, since Sunday, which is really unusual. We talked about how long it’s been, and then he asked me if he could have an orgasm.
And I said no.
And he said, “Oh, fuck.” Well, it’s not “Yes, Mistress” but it will do.
Tonight we go to his friends’ house for a roleplaying game. His character in the game has a lot of sexual potential, though it hasn’t been explored much. Our characters are not fucking, but I love to sit with him while we play and stroke him – pet his head, trace his ear with my fingers, etc. I like him to be horny for this. I think he will be tonight.
We often discuss the two sides to anything he does in submission to me – the ding an sich (pleasure I take in the task itself), and the submission as such. For instance, if I ask him to do my laundry, it has a high utility (ding an sich), but the submission itself is not that hot. But if I make him maintain an uncomfortable position, it’s all submission, not so much ding an sich. I like both things.
For me, orgasm control has very high ding an sich, perhaps because the idea of not being allowed to come is extremely hot to me when applied to myself. I often fantasize, while masturbating, that I won’t be allowed to come, or that I’ll be punished for coming.
But then, actually not being allowed to come is way more unpleasant, and that’s where the submission comes in. The idea of him jacking off because he’s horny, but then specifically stopping and not coming, no matter how difficult it is, in obedience to me…jesus. That is the bomb. How could anyone do that for me?
There is a small catch to the ding an sich aspect, though. Most of our visits together are kind of short, and there is an impractical aspect of making him wait to orgasm: he can’t fuck me long enough. I could just allow him to jack off early in the day when I plan to see him at night, but I also love to be there for that payoff orgasm. But I also like to get fucked for a while, and it’s hard to arrange both in a short period of time.
It’s kind of a sweet dilemma to have, if you think about it.
7 responses so far ↓
maymay // 2 November 2007 at 3:36 pm
You could just fuck more than once…. Or, alternately, you can provide an abandoned orgasm (aka. “minimized orgasm”, aka. “ruined orgasm”, aka. a billion other names) for his first orgasm and then fuck. For some men, such as myself, this tends to be both sexually frustrating (and thus arousing) and quite utilitarian at times in situations like the one you describe.
Of course, it does mean the orgasm control is potentially more severe, but that’s not really a bad thing, I gather.
Also, thanks for the kind words on my post. I wasn’t sure if I liked what I wrote, but maybe I do.
devastatingyet // 2 November 2007 at 3:38 pm
There’s not usually time to fuck more than once. Strange but true. And I haven’t found that a ruined orgasm slows him down the second time.
I can’t say for sure whether you liked your post, but I fucking loved it. Joscelin, for the record, pronounced it “breathtaking.”
maymay // 2 November 2007 at 5:07 pm
Lucky boy? :)
theRambler // 3 November 2007 at 5:33 am
“And he said, “Oh, fuck.” Well, it’s not “Yes, Mistress” but it will do.”
Yes but sometimes “Oh, fuck.” is so much hotter than “yes, Mistress.” So much more desperate mmmm
Joscelin Verreuil // 3 November 2007 at 11:51 pm
I think it’s clear that I was stressed and preoccupied last week. I usually only go so long without thinking about masturbating when I’m just too distracted to think about sex.
the sub scribe // 4 November 2007 at 1:15 pm
Couldn’t agree with theRambler more. I laughed out loud when I read “And he said, “Oh, fuck.” Well, it’s not “Yes, Mistress” but it will do.”
Because I know very well that if I’m saying “oh, fuck” and not “yes, Mistress” that my beloved has really got me where she wants me… :)
devastatingyet // 4 November 2007 at 1:21 pm
I definitely see your point :-D